Lyrics

I’m Too Fat (and It’s All Your Fault)

I know your intentions are of the very best
But there’s a growing problem here we need to address
Watch when I turn sideways, you’ll be gaga at the view
I protrude much farther forward than I used to do

Your motives are completely understandable and sweet
You’re worried that your loved ones won’t have enough to eat
But don’t you see, malnourishment is awfully rare these days
At least, in a modern nation like the USA

So stop! You know not what you do
My youthful figure is ruined, and it’s all because of you
I gotta draw the line here, babe, I gotta call a halt
Bottom line: I’m too fat - and it’s all your fault

You gather inspiration from Youtube videos
Go shopping for ingredients down at Trader Joe’s
Sunday afternoon you get to baking up a storm
I am summoned to assist your masterpiece take form

I beat the eggs, I whip the cream, I quaff a glass of wine
I help out as best I can, but you’re the mastermind
When the cream is whipped, I get the beater blades to lick
Brings back memories from when I was a little kid

So stop!, etc.

When I open up the fridge and survey the situation
Every shelf is loaded with delectable temptations
And even when I’m stuffed so full my stomach is a-yelping
You urge me on to have yet another helping

So stop!, etc.