Lyrics

The Laz-Z Boy's Lament (Girlfriends Are Work)

We have come to an understanding regarding my kitchen hygiene
Likewise, the bathroom and the bedroom and car must be kept spotlessly clean
Upshot is, I have now become a neat freak who’s ever alert
Ready to pounce on the slightest sign of a hint of a speck of dirt

But there’s never an end to this cleaning! I can never rest or shirk
I can never lay down this burden! Bottom line: girlfriends are work

After a number of unkind comments, of an ostensibly joking sort,
I gathered that my standards of personal grooming were falling a little bit short
So I now look like a Republican - clean and neat and straitlaced
Constantly checking the mirror to see if every single hair’s in place

But there’s never an end to this preening! I can never rest or shirk
I can never lay down this burden. Bottom line: girlfriends are work

Kickin’ back for a little catnap, my La-Z-Boy reclined
Suddenly I leap to my feet with a horrible chill running down my spine
Oh my God, what day is it? Was I to meet her someplace?
Is she tapping her foot because once again I muffed the date?

Dates, birthdays, Valentine’s days - I can never rest or shirk
I can never lay down this burden! Bottom line, girlfriends are work!